Foster mom, how do you balance the impossible tension of loving a child like they’re your own, when they’re not? I thought about it. How do you do it? And then I realized: The love is in your heart. The what ifs and questions and worries are in your mind.
I wish you could meet my precious boy. You would understand why I love him so. He is gorgeous and sweet and so easy to love. And I do love him. But when his social worker asked me to adopt him, I said no. The thought of saying good-bye to him breaks my heart, the idea of him not being in our family hurts deeply, but still, I said no.
I have a five-month-old, an eight-month-old, a two-year-old, a three-year-old, a five-year-old, and an eight-year-old. Six little kids makes for a combined six to infinity number of possible sleep interruptions, but I slept uninterrupted last night and every night for as far back as I can remember.
You are giving a child the chance to live a better life. A chance that they deserve. You are giving them the love and care that they so desperately need. You are making a lifelong, lasting difference in the life of another human being.
I never understood why “foster care” and “adoption” had this eerie and peculiar reputation behind them, when those two things are responsible for the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
There may be times that a foster family may be in need of respite care for one reason or another. And before I jump into my argument for why foster parents should open their homes to respite placements, I want to shed some light on why families may need them in the first place.
Looking back now I realize it was only three months that I waited for my first placement, but at the time it felt like an eternity. Take the overall lack of phone ringing I had expected, add in a few potential placements falling through, and I was in full will-it-ever-happen-distress mode. Every story of a child languishing without a family was like a dagger in my heart. “I”m here. I’m waiting. Give me a child to love!”
As I’ve been posting about the first week with our newest placement, I’ve had many new or soon-to-be foster parents reach out with thanks and questions. It's reminded me of just how clueless I was at the beginning. Maybe you, new foster mama, are feeling clueless yourself.
On Thursday of last week I brought one little girl home from the hospital. One twin. One half of a set. These girls who shared their mother’s womb for nearly seven months, shared a hospital room for nearly four, and shared every moment of their little lives together, were separated.
One time, a small seven year old girl quietly approached me as I sat in a dark living room after work. “Jerry, can I tell you something?” she asked. “When I first met you I was very, very scared because you are very, very big…"
My husband and I started the process of becoming foster parents. At the beginning, we wanted only one young child. To date, we’ve had 50 children in our home. We went from a three bedroom home to a six bedroom home, allowing us to have the room for more children to love.
You clung to me with tear-filled eyes like your life depended on it, like some stranger would come and take you away from me, too. And my heart clung to you just the same, continually aware of the risk of loving you, continually aware that you may leave...
Christmas is the story of God bringing Help to the helpless, Hope to the hopeless, a Father to the fatherless. Sound familiar?
Simply knowing about “foster children” isn’t very compelling. But getting to know a foster child, one specific child, can change us. When we know their stories and speak their names and see their faces and hold their hands, they enter our hearts.
This Christmas season, I've spent a lot of energy telling you all about the different "better than fair trade" organizations I love, why I love them, and which of their products I love the most. But it turns out, I got a little carried away. And it turns out, that all of the many lists may not be conducive to actual shopping. So consider this a "who's who" of organizations that do good, with minimum details...
I’ve called you by that label, that sacred name, “daughter,” many times. But today is different. Today there’s no prefix, no subtext, no “sort of but not really” as there has always been before. You’re not my foster daughter, I don’t love you “like you’re my own.” Today you are wholly, completely, for forever my daughter
For the first time in my life, I thought about the people behind the gift. And the thought that the beautiful figures sitting on my dresser had fed or clothed or protected a family made me happier than the beautiful gift itself.
I’m grateful there’s something I can do. I’m grateful for organizations like Purpose that allow someone like me who can’t do much to partner with what they are doing. And what easier way is there to “do” good for these precious women than to shop?
I created a list of my 10 favorite "gifts that give." But I couldn’t stop there. So I made a list of my favorites for kids. But I couldn’t stop there. All the people must know all the organizations! So, here is my second list of my very favorite do-gooding, beautiful-product-making, world-changing, better-than-fair-trade organizations.
