OUR ADOPTION STORY - KESSIE #writeyourheartout
I never would have planned to have my kids spaced so far apart. The two years between each of the first three felt comfortable. I wanted to be done having kids by 30, and I was. Last baby born in January and then I turned 30 in April. Two sweet wild boys and one precious little princess, all done. I never planned for you.
Life had its ups and downs with those three kids, but it was pretty comfortable. Our life, for the most part, had gotten on track with the plans we had made. But there was a tugging. We both felt it. I wanted to ignore it. I like comfortable, and even though I KNOW life can change in the blink of an eye, I prefer to stay comfortable as long as possible.
God made comfortable feel less and less that way. One by one He took down every obstacle I put up, and we knew it was time. Months of paperwork and classes went by and there we were excited and terrified because we had a piece of paper saying we were qualified to take someone else's child(ren) into our home and care for them.
The calls came and we did eventually say yes. We were taken from comfort zone to war zone, and I was only mostly sure I would survive. It was almost a year of trial by fire, but we all made it and came out the better. I wanted to be comfortable again, but as William Wilberforce said, "You may choose to look the other way but you can never again say you did not know."
I kind of dreaded the phone ringing. I didn’t really want to say yes again. I wanted to forget what I'd learned and live in ignorant bliss. I never planned for you.
The phone did ring, and we did say yes. And there you were. A tiny bundle with Elvis hair and beautiful eyes that wouldn't make eye contact for weeks. You were exhausting, trying to fix what was broken and the up so many times a night. You were exhilarating, seeing you learn to trust us, those moments late at night when the house was still and quiet, those smiles, and that hair...
I never planned for you to be ours. Sure we threw around the word adoption, like we “should" do that someday. It's never a for sure though, especially in foster care. I never planned an seven year gap between kids. I was done after 30, I didn't plan to be an "old" parent, but I never planned for YOU.
Thankfully, oh so thankfully, God did plan for you. What I would have missed if life went by my plan! As I sit here typing I am also waiting for the social worker who is picking up the LAST piece of paper we needed to sign before we stand before a judge who will declare you our son forever.
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts higher than your thoughts. - Isaiah 55:8-9