Write Your Heart Out - Guest Series: Janice's Story
I had never written anything for another person to actually read before. I thought it was presumptuous to assume that others would want to spend their precious time reading anything I had to say, arrogant to think I had anything to say in the first place. But a friend asked me to write down my story, so I panicked/nearly refused/complied and came up with "The Journey Into Foster Care." His request and affirmation built my confidence (read as: faith) to continue writing and to share my words with others.
After literally googling “how to start a blog,” I learned that after writing something, you're supposed to share it with other writers who have common interests. I shared my story with about five orphan care bloggers and pages I followed, then watched as something I never could’ve anticipated happened. They shared it with others and those others shared it with others and those others shared it with other others, until, within a week, somewhere around a million people had read my words.
This is when I learned how powerful sharing your story can be.
I walked around for a week with tears in my eyes as complete strangers shared how they were inspired to get involved in foster care, encouraged to stay the course with their current fosters, and curious about this Jesus I wrote of.
My story is simple and common and mediocre-ly written, but God used it.
All of this is the inspiration for this week’s series of guest posts from readers of Foster the Family. Some of them are writers and some are “just” moms, but they were all faithful to write and share their story with others and, eventually, with me. I want to give them the gift that others gave to me in sharing their words. But more importantly, I want to give you the gift of reading their words and entering their stories.
I just want to keep things real. It's been a hard couple of weeks. I feel like there has been so much progress the last few months, but the last two weeks feel like 10 steps backwards.
Her birthday is next weekend, and it has brought up all the things. She is almost 8 going on 3 and I love her and it's worth it, but sometimes I just get tired of tantrums and being blamed for all the things ever.
Healing days are about trauma and rewiring her brain. They need to happen for her to be healthy. But when the healing days become healing weeks, the weight of her suffering feels all consuming. And then when I'm on the brink of bursting into tears and losing control of my tongue, I breathe in any truth that comes to mind and make myself exhale those truths.
My calling is important. Everything is for God's glory. Suffering is not forever. Satan loves trauma. Healing is through Christ. I am not a savior. God knows every thought and feeling I have and has promised to not abandon me. The Spirit dwells within me. Stop fighting and rest in God's mercy and grace.
Truth keeps me from feeling defeated. I feel overwhelmed, but I also feel comforted. I feel anxious and unsure, but I also feel hopeful.
And when I feel like I literally cannot do this other day - I also feel so incredibly grateful that God has given us another day.