Trauma Training Isn't Enough

Sometimes I can’t handle the hour long meltdowns or the what’s-even-going-on-here trauma behaviors. So I hold it together and say the right things and make everyone alright. And then I hit my breaking point.

I Get Too Attached

It has to be the reasoning I hear most often from would-be foster parents: “I could never do that. I would get too attached.” Well, that makes two of us. Attachment is the whole point of this, after all.

I Say No To Placements All The Time

As time has gone on, I’ve gotten more acquainted with--if still not totally comfortable with--saying no. I’ve learned that knowing when to say yes and when to say no is one of the most important parts of doing this thing well.

This Sucks.

Maybe my "this sucks" mantra sounds un-Christian. When I say, "This sucks," and I say it to Him, it's said like a prayer. A faith-filled acknowledgement that though this isn't how it should be, He is in it all.

In Defense of Foster Parenting

Foster care is, at its core, a bridge. Back to first family or on to forever family. Foster parents must never--not ever--be shamed or condemned or criticized when they do not adopt their foster children. Adoption is not in our job description.

Foster Care is Broken. I Am Broken.

I could be sitting on the sidelines, in blissful ignorance of the brokenness that surrounds me, enjoying the whole-ness of a sweet and sheltered life. Missing out on the beauty of breaking off pieces of my heart and my life to make another whole.

I Just Don't Want To Hand Him Over Today...

This foster care life is a constant placing of your child in someone else’s hands. Literally and actually, in workers’ and judges’ and lawyers’ hands. Oh, I wish I were in control. I wish I could slam the door in the worker's face. I wish I could tell the judge, “So here’s what you gotta do.” I wish I could just change mom with a snap of the fingers. I wish, so deeply, I wish.