"I would get too attached," "Do you get to keep this one?" and "Are they all yours?": 40 Answers to the Invasive (But Typically-Well-Meaning) Questions Every Foster Parent Hears
Foster parents get lots of questions: inquisitive, curious, intrusive, and inappropriate....but all typically well-meaning. It's hard for people to understand this journey we're on. It's hard for them to understand why our families look so different. And so they ask. And for all the times you don't know how to answer, the readers of Foster the Family compiled their favorite answers to their most frequently received questions. From funny to irreverent to informative to heart-warming. You'll never have to search for an answer again.
How do you do that? I would get too attached!
I do get too attached! If you don't get too attached, you're not doing it right! -Me!
Life is so much better for having her, no matter how short or long the time. -Kim
It’s not about me, it’s about them! -Kristina
Yes, I do get attached! That’s precisely what they need. -Claire
Do you get to keep this one?
She’ll be with us for as long as she needs us. -Jamie
That's not for me to decide, but I'm happy to offer him our home for whatever length of time he needs to be here. -Claire
Are you their real mom?
Yes, yes I am. - Cassiopiea
Yep, I’m real. And yep, I’m their mom. -Jennifer
I’m not their biological mom, but I’m their real mom. -Jennifer
You sure have your hands full!
Yes, I do! Fully of blessings! - Marie
Good thing I left the other six home! -Lindsey
Are they twins?
No, they’re four months apart! (and watch them try to figure it out) -Randi
Yes, they are my twins at heart, but they are two months apart with different birth mothers. -Kate
No, they’re triplets. We left the other one at home! -Julie
No, they’re four months apart...she has a magic uterus. -Julie’s husband
No, triplets. We leave the ugly one at home. -Beth
But they don’t look like you…
God loves variety! -Meredith
But they look awfully like the mailman! -Sara’s husband
This is my buddy who is living with me for a while. -Aly
Do you have any children of your own?
Yes, she’s mine until God sees fit to move her. - Sara
How many kids do you have?
Depends on the day. -Julie
Are you going to adopt them? (soon after they enter your home)
You pretty much keep an open mind with foster care... this stuff always takes a while to sort out. -Erika
I hope they can return home when the time is right. -Kathy
Adoption isn't EasyMac, it's a fine wine -Mijana’s wife
We are at square one and not sure what is going on. We live day by day! -Traci
What happened to their parents? OR Was it drugs? OR What’s their story?
You know, as a foster kid, they already lose a lot of their privacy. We try to do what we can to protect that for them. It's hard feeling like everyone knows their business. -Erika
They need a safe place to stay, for now. -Kathy
What made you want to be a foster parent?
I love God and I love kids. I want to make a difference. -Kathy
Are you a babysitter? OR Are you running a preschool? OR Is this a daycare?
NO. -All of us
You’re so strong. I don’t know how you do it!
I honestly don't know either. When we said goodbye to our first, I didn't know how I would make it through, but I did. I still can't believe I did, but I did...and he is better for. Hearts heal, but he can bond [again] and that's what matters. -Brittney
Your children are beautiful!
I wish I could take credit for those genetics! -Phyllis
At the doctor: How was his birth? Did he get stuck in the birth canal? Were forceps used?
Hmm, I don’t know. -Jenny
They all look so different!
They all have different fathers! -Kimberly
The proactive answer for all of your friends questions...
When you see me with kids from now on, you won't have to wonder where they came from. And when you don't see them with us anymore, you won't have to wonder where they went. We had them for the time that we were supposed to love them. If it ever gets to a point where we get to adopt and keep them forever, we will shout that to you from the rooftops. Until then this is just the way it is that we are OK with it. We're not super heroes, we’re just a family that wants kids to love. -Kristen
Are they all yours?
At least for now! (with a smile) - Michelle
Today they are! - Ashley
Can’t you see the resemblance? - Mijana
Aren’t I lucky? - Paige
That’s what she tells me! -Lindsey’s husband
Nope, I just collect random kids, because everyone loves shopping with a bunch of random stranger’s kids! -Krystal
Yep, and they all have the same father, too! -Uvonda
I claim them all. -LeAnna
I like my husband a lot! -Becky
(The girls pictured are my very best friends, and we always ask each other intrusive questions...because that's what best friends are supposed to do.)